Isle of man! The brother's UK Great secret!
by Necron warrior
Summary: Scotland's mistake from the past catches up with him. #warning# contains backhands, top hats and stern looks.


**Oh god, I finally stopped procrastinating and got this done. Slightly. Who am I kidding it's still going to have more chapters that this.  
>Agh, why do I have ideas if I can't write and am work shy :s.<strong>

It was a warm summer's day, long ago in the past...

Scotland and England were swimming in one of the many cold watered coves around the UK, splashing each other, racing, breath holding, you know. Kid stuff.

Now obviously, Scotland being the bigger brother, decides to bully England a little for being a bit faster than heavy Scotland. Asking England to have a breath-holding competition, to which England agrees eagerly. "Ok? 1...2...3...GO!" Scotland shouts, and watches England go under.

He then decides to push England down, making him fluster and splutter. Laughing triumphantly, Scotland then takes his hand off to watch an exasperated England pop up and shout.

He didn't pop up.

A meeting is taking place in...Well...the meeting room. Where all the countries come to discuss matters pertaining to the welfare of all countries and continents of the world and, most importantly, to have a chat.

England yawned. Nothing ever really happened in these meetings, besides the release of much UST that is. He wished he could hear his own thoughts, but the rabble of shouting voices said otherwise. 'Don't touch my land', 'but I'm not touching your land', 'Yes you are', 'No I'm not', 'PASTA'.

It was at that point all the noises stopped and England opened his eyes to see a man standing in the doorway. Not a very exceptional man, a seemingly very average man. Medium-long, black hair; a foot shorter than the doorway; basic clothes; an average build. But if you looked close enough you could see the deep purple irises behind his spectacles. Oh and the top hat stood out as well.

It was at this point England realised who this was.

"Bollocks."

He darted under the table as fast as he could and curled up in a ball. _This day wasn't supposed to come, oh why, oh why, oh why._

The newcomer shouted "Where's that haggis-eating bastard!"

America, seizing the initiative (or showing-off) was the first to say:"Who do you think you ARE, this is a meeting for discussing big things an..."

He never finished this sentence, as it's hard to talk when there's a back of a hand swinging at 100m/s in the side of your face.

No-one knew who this person was, well, except for his brothers. Who were (minus one missing), at this moment, sitting quietly and in fear.

In was at this moment Germany stood up, cleared his throat, and asked (from the other end of the table I might add) "May we know your name to make things a bit easier?"

The newcomer looked away from the floored America and replied "Ah finally, someone in uniform...

To which America muttered from the floor"I'm in uniform".

"No-one was talking to you! Anyway, where are my manners, I'm England."

The silence upgraded from stunned silence to shocked silence.

"I'm afraid we already have an England here...somewhere..." Germany said looking around the table for him.

"I'm afraid what you have is an imposter. The Isle of man to be precise."

Wales then pulled out the Isle of Man from under the table, who had apparently voided his bowels out of fear.

England then gave him a stern look, which caused him to cry and his nose to leak.

The Isle of Man attempted to explain through sobs "They asked me to do it *sob* we thought you were dead *sniff*"

"A country is never dead if he never left it in the first place!" he clicked his fingers and pointed to North Ireland "Boy! Go down to the local tailors and get me a suit. WITH COATTAILS. And a cane while you're at it!" he threw the boy a small wallet "Be careful with my suit wallet!"

While he waited for NI to come back, he helped America back up and tried to apologize for hurting him. I say 'tried' as he said he reminded him of Scotland because of his stupidity.

"So...uh...England dude, why are you mad at Scotland?"

"Because the tosser tried to kill me! Speaking of which, where is he?"

Everyone looked to where Scotland should have been sat. It was an empty chair, behind which was a broken window.

England rushed over and looked out to see if Scotland was still around. Below were two fainted people, England guessed because of Scotland's kilt's disagreement with the wind.

It was at this moment a flushed Northern Ireland came running in with a folded up suit and a cane.

"Ah, finally something worth wearing, I'll be but a moment."

As soon as England closed the door behind him, the other countries crowded around his brothers.

Germany then pointed out the elephant in the room "Will someone please explain what is going on and why Eng...The 'Isle of Man' is sitting in the corner crying?"

Ireland decided this was the time to take the initiative and explain what was happening in the world "Many years ago, back when we were young and France didn't even know what 'sex' was (this brought up a gasp from most countries assembled, who had thought that his libido was fully developed even before the umbilical cord was cut) we were all very close brothers, and we had a lot of fun together, until the 'incident' with Scotland which resulted in all of us believing he was dead." Ireland looked in the direction of the Isle of Man "England was very dark after that. Until we found this guy sitting on a rock between us and decided to give him reign over it, hoping we could fix things. Apparently all we knew was wrong, and now we have a nation to convince to hand over his landmass. Although I believe England will go for a more 'threatening' approach."  
>At this point, Russia decided to raise a plot point. "But, if you gave England's land to the Isle of Man, then how is England still alive?"<p>

"Because it was not their land to give!" Announced England at the doorway, his top hat finally fitting with the rest of his clothes. At this point one word went through everyone's minds.  
>'Fancy'<br>"You see" he continued " I was still in control of England the whole time, after I realised what Scotland dunking my head under the water really mean, I had to make a plan"  
>A grin appeared on his face. So this is what solitude did to a barely sane country. Huh. "So – what did Scotland's mistake <em>really<em> mean?" America interrupted.  
>"Silence fool! It was <em>obviously<em> an assassination attempt!" England said with a stern look.

Wales, Ireland and his north all took this time to simultaneously facepalm.

**Alrighty then, that's that. This is going to be done at some point, my conscience won't allow it to remain unfinished. ****What about those other stories I haven't finished?**

**Yours sincerely,**

** [Mobius]**


End file.
